A strange thing happened this morning. I woke up to my dog barking at the door, in her “I’m 100% sure there’s somebody outside” tone.
It never happens as we’re usually fast asleep until the early afternoon. I open the door and find a man standing outside the door of my apartment, holding a fresh pineapple.
After a fleeting moment of confusion, I realized the pineapple was in the process of being delivered to me, along with a bunch of fruits and vegetables I had ordered in an altered state of consciousness last night.
I store the other fruits and vegetables in the freezer and keep the pineapple on the kitchen counter; my dog was curious about the pineapple for a few seconds but quickly lost interest.
When I woke up, the pineapple was still on the counter. To be completely honest, I wasn’t honestly prepared to face it. I had no idea how to slice open a pineapple; I don’t remember the last time I saw a raw pineapple.
I could have called someone, but most people I know have no idea what to do with a raw pineapple, and I just didn’t want to contact someone about it.
Fortunately, I don’t have to call anyone with my dumb questions because Google exists. The internet taught me almost everything I know, and I knew it could teach me how to get through a pineapple too. After all, it was responsible for getting the pineapple to my house!
Twenty years ago, it was common knowledge to not get into cars with strangers but Uber made it okay. Twenty years ago, it was strange to have a random person show up to your house with an exotic fruit but eCommerce made it okay. It’s hard to see the radically different lives that we live today thanks to technology because the change was gradual – we hear about computers getting faster and smaller every day but rarely correlate it to how it would change our lives on a daily basis, especially for the smaller things.
Anyway, here’s the video I found where a nice woman teaches me how to correctly slice up a pineapple while promoting her website, https://cleananddelicious.com/
With the pineapple sliced into pieces and stored in my fridge, I was content with the choices I have made in my life. I also searched if dogs could eat pineapples and they can! Unfortunately, my dog still wasn’t interested.
Buy me a beer! Or two… or ten.